work it out

17 10 2006

I haven’t written in days.  Sean went camping this weekend with a bunch of boys, “Men’s Camping Weekend.”  Friday night I hung out with Jim.  We ordered pizza and watched Closer with Natalie Portman, Jude Law, Julia Roberts, and ….. I can never remember his name….. Clive Owen.  What a crazy movie.  I love it, incredibly smart writing, witty and biting.  So we watched that and then just talked for a while about school and all the craziness there, how much longer we can handle the testing.  I’m so unhappy with the way that I’m teaching this year.  I thought that we would really love switching classes the way we are, but I just don’t have time to do what I want, I don’t have time to build the relationships and trust with the kids that I crave.  They don’t know who I am.  

Friday was an awesome day at school, we had an assembly, which I loved, folk music, so much fun.  Then at recess we just played.  I wasn’t wearing anything that could get messed up and I ran around with the kids while they played soccer.  I miss just being with them and not being worried about what content I’m passing along.  I don’t have time for teachable moments, if something comes up that isn’t on the agenda, I used to be able to talk about it and cut something else short.  But with the way we only have each group for 45 minutes we can’t stop for anything.  I can’t make it up later.  And it’s making me lazy.  It’s easy to do crap four time because I don’t have to develop creative ways to get the material across.  And honestly, by the time we transition, I don’t feel like the kids have time to get settled and creative anyway.  I feel like all day long we’re yelling go go go to the next place, it’s very un-peaceful.  Chaotic and jarring.  
SO, Saturday night I went out with my friend Rusty from high school, he came over and went through all my clothes, picked out an outfit, did my makeup and took me dancing at a few clubs downtown.  it was glorious.  I love him.  So many beautiful gay boys in Richmond.  We had a really good time, pics of prep time on Myspace.  LOL, figures. Church Sunday morning was really good, things to think about.  Then I came home and got stuff done for school.

It’s definitely Fall, I love the way the air is right now, clean and crisp.  It’s phenomenal.  I need to go up in the attic and get all my sweaters and stuff down.  Time to switch out the clothes.  Which makes me a little sad quite honestly.  The cold makes me whiny.




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