sexual healing

23 08 2006

so last night, marjie and I stopped at taco bell for dinner after walking 15 miles all over DC in order for her to get her visa for India. In any case, in walks this girl who looked, oh, about 12, who was extremely pregnant. I just don’t understand.

It makes me so angry that we do, as a society, such a shitty job of educating our teenagers, our children, about sex. This administration, and quite frankly almost every one before, has only made it harder to educate the children that are having sex. I’m 25 years old, I’ve been married for almost four years and I know I am certainly not ready to have a child. What is the problem? Why can’t we feel comfortable saying to these kids what a big deal sex is? Why is it all so uncomfortable? Why can’t someone come up with a program that helps kids to understand all the emotional and health ramifications while letting them know that there are other options out there?

In a world that is post-sexual revolution, past the days of free love and all that jazz, how is it that AIDs is still running rampant, that unwanted pregnancies are a dime a dozen, and my gynecologist’s nurse still couldn’t look me in the face today when she asked if I’d ever had any STDs? I went to the doctor today (you were warned!) to discuss new birth control options for us. I went in having done my homework, I knew what I thought I wanted, I just needed to talk to a real doctor about the options and side effects. She must have told me 5 times how impressed she was that I came in already knowing these things, having taken control of what is going on in my own life and body. Why is it that the majority of women aren’t doing that? Why would she have been so impressed if she doesn’t encounter that more often? Why can’t more women feel like it’s their right and responsibility to stay informed?

Is it because since they were children, they’ve been taught that a) sex is dirty b) they shouldn’t enjoy it c)they’re sluts if they do? I mean honestly, that’s what we’ve all been taught, right? Why is that? And it continues, schools today are filled with programs that push abstinence above all other things, which I honest to God don’t have a problem with. But, they aren’t letting them know that there are a million other options. I agree with Marjie that we should be pushing blow jobs. I mean, at least then they aren’t getting pregnant. These poor girls can’t ask their parents to take them to a doctor to get birth control, how in the hell do they think they’re going to tell them, PS, I’m pregnant? In addition to the fact that they completely ignore the emotional ramifications of being sexually active. Don’t have sex, you’ll get pregnant, you’ll get AIDs and you’ll die. That was the message we got.

And don’t even get me started on the church. They do an even worse job than the schools. In the fourth grade, I signed a True Love Waits pledge. The fourth grade? Now, I realize that kids are having sex younger and younger, believe me I do. But to talk ambiguiously about sex in sunday school when you’re 9 and then never really talk about it again? Why aren’t they talking about it in the high school classes? In college? What the hell? I am thrilled to death that Sean and I have never been with anyone else, it worked out for us. I had a dad that never made me feel like I needed to EARN another man’s love. Not every girl is so blessed. And not many people are out there for those girls.

I don’t really know how to end this rant. little girls are still going to be getting pregnant, women are still getting diseases, and until someone feels like actually talking to them about their own bodies, I guess that’s just how it’s going to be.
-frustrated, e



Tempted not to follow the Vessel

17 08 2006

I Nail my Palms- Team Urbana

We try to spin the earth on our tongue
and count the stars before they fall
Only the wind will continue to blow
Even if we don’t follow

I nail my palms
With my pen
To my desk
And confess all of my commited sins
I forgive my self and move forward

Like the book of psalms
I read like parables
Stories of the weight of the world
Endured in both triumph and defeat
I lay my soul at your feet
and place my soul at your feet
and place my heart on the line
hoping that blind eyes will see



15 08 2006

Alchemy by Regie Gibson

this / eroticism / of / language
this / copulation / of / words
this / slow / burning / fuck / of / syllables
poetry / is / more / than / the / sum
of / its / parts


Each moment is passion

14 08 2006

Before I Read this Poem
by George David Miller

…..The big moments of life are not
When the walls of Jericho tumble
When Haley’s Comet sparkles across the sky
When a knockout punch fells a fighter
Or when Sissyphus’ boulder finally goes over the hill.

The big moments of life
Are not when the boulder clears the ridge
But when we tie our shoes
Spit on our hands
Take deep breaths
Flex our muscles
Focus all our energy
And do it all over again.

Each moment is history
Each moment is passion
Each moment is meaning…

…Carving epic lives
From ordinary moments

And that is the whole meaning of life
To be able to look at the heavens
and scream, “I have lived, I have lived” –
To have carved epic lives
From ordinary moments.

This is my life- and it’s your life too
This is my poem – and it’s your poem too.
And you still don’t know me
And I still don’t know myself.